The Darkness / 3 Inches Of Blood / The Webb Brothers
23 October 2003
Hammersmith Apollo, London

Tonight`s proceedings open with some competent but uninspiring indie college rock from The Webb Brothers. Not my scene so let`s move on to 3 Inches Of Blood. Now imagine if Lost Prophets played Iron Maiden songs with one singer that sounds like King Diamond and another who occasional interjects in the style of Dani Filth!

The jury is still out on whether these Canadians really believe their mantra of "Let metal be your master", or whether they`re simply taking the piss. The brain cells killed by the non-stop head banging of guitarists Bobby Froese and Sunny Dhak would suggest they`re for real and I`ve seen few more obvious metal bands able to play such tight twin guitar harmonies whilst indulging in such cranium snapping antics.

Jamie Hooper provides the occasional scream, leaving centre stage to Cam Pipes, who kept reminding me of Tenacious D`s Jack Black, except for his tortured screams which almost caused my ears to bleed. During Dhak`s guitar solo for Ride Darkhorse Ride, the rest of the band fall to the knees to worship the solo, devil horns raised.

There`s a very mixed reaction from the audience who really don`t know what`s hit them, however you just have to join in with "Balls Of Ice, Running through my veins....."

3 Inches Of Blood Set List (with some omissions):
Destroy The Orcs / Guilty Sinners / Ride Darkhorse Ride / Curse Of The Lighthouse Keeper / ? / Balls Of Ice

With three previous gigs cancelled due to Justin Hawkins throat infection, you just know that The Darkness are going to pull out all the stops to make sure the Hammersmith Odeon, sorry, Apollo gig went ahead tonight. This is a rock Mecca of old, though I never understood the kudos of an all seated venue and similarly the bigger gigs dried up. Now the venue is in the hands of the same people as Brixton Academy and by taking the seats out they have created an almost carbon copy of that venue on a slightly smaller scale.

Remembering there`s now no seats, there must be three times the number of people here to the old seated days and that`s some achievement for The Darkness, who are selling out venues wherever they go currently. How long this lasts remains to be seen as casting an eye around tonight it`s apparent there`s a lot of people who wouldn`t usually go to a gig or appear to be here as it`s "cool" be here. There are however rockers aplenty too.

Opening with intro instrumental Bareback, the band taunt the crowd by playing behind a transparent curtain. Justin Hawkins rock poses are magnified in shadow on the curtain and its pure entertainment from start to finish tonight.

Justin is the obvious star of the show and the rest of the band are content for him to revel in it. Brother Dan, in his obligatory Thin Lizzy shirt, plays a Malcolm Young style brotherly role, content to stand back and nod along. Meanwhile, bassist Frankie Poullain, resplendent in headband and with handlebar moustache, also spends much of his time nodding along but his occasional trips to the front incite the crowd to throw devil horns.

The comedy never stops and there are three costume changes from Justin to boot. Despite The Daily Star`s report today, Justin assures us he doesn`t have cancer. He does however want to talk about another news story, that of Arnie, the new governor of California, whose penchant for the ladies has been well reported. Apparently at one rally there was a huge banner behind him with "Get Your Hands Off Our Women" …and you can guess which song came next.

Later an hysterical metal cover of Radiohead`s Street Spirit precedes Justin asking the crowd what day is it, "Wednesday" is the reply, "Really?" says Justin, ignoring the crowd, "You say it`s Friday Night!" and said song follows.

On top of all this stand-up work, and there`s surely a career their for Justin should the rock dream come to an end, we get a huge gong being bashed behind Ed Graham`s kit prior to I Believe In A Thing Called Love and a walkabout in the crowd on a roadies shoulders during closer Love On The Rocks With No Ice.

The best is saved for last though as the band draw out the final note of Love On The Rocks, Justin assumes the one legged crane kick position from Karate Kid centre stage and holds that position to much hilarity from all of us old enough to have remembered the film from our youth, before finally performing the kick to the final note of the night.

For all the criticism about them, tonight The Darkness ROCKED as a band and entertained too and my sides are still hurting from laughing.

The Darkness Set List:
Bareback / Black Shuck / Growing On Me / Best Of Me / Making Out / Stuck In A Rut / Love Is Only A Feeling / Physical Sex / Get Your Hands Off My Woman / Street Spirit / Friday Night / I Believe In A Thing Called Love / Givin` Up / Love On The Rocks With No Ice